My Easter Miracle

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I wanted to let you know something that happen last night that was not only only miracle but a huge blessing as well!!!

I went and did grocery shopping last night for Easter dinner. I however, stopped at Dollar General first because they had these small plastic pools that I am using for the Easter basket (it is a family Easter Basket will explain that later in another post). Well I put it in the back of the truck then I ran into the grocery store. When I came out I loaded up the truck to include putting stuff in the pool so it would not blow away thinking safety first and not wanting the pool to blow out the back off the truck....

When I returned the cart. I have no idea why I did not close the back of my back tail gate (I always do). Well when I was driving off and pulling onto the main road I heard this sound... and my heart just dropped ...I was like OMG and did say a couple of not-to-nice words.... please tell me that I closed  the back of the truck. I pull over, glance into the truck, and  sure enough everything is missing. One of my greatest fears have just come true, I put a whole lot of people in danger because of my careless mistake.

MY first thought was to look over there did I just cause wreck!!!.... THANKFULLY NO!!! The next thing was how or what to do get back to where the pool/groceries where I was sure all destroyed....then I backed the truck up to the nearest parking lot to find a car coming towards me! My anxiety was starting to go in overdrive and every thought just flooded my mind. He had my pool still intact and the food that I just purchased still all intact... which was a huge relief I am talking milk and juices! When you are one income family we need to watch every penny.... I first apologized so much but he kept saying it is okay...I also thanked him... and before he left he gave me a tip on gas mileage.

When I got back into the truck ....I just cried and prayed...... I had to sit there .... and was just thankful

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Learning About A New Symptoms In My Daily Life: Anxiety and Panic Attacks

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As you guys know I am bipolar and part of my formal diagnosis is generalized anxiety disorder. It is really part of my diagnosis I do not talk about because it really has never presented itself to be enough  of a problem for me at least. It often goes hand in hand of bipolar and for me it leads to excessive worry of just about everything and it goes hand with my rapid thoughts. Usually it gets worse around the holidays or special events. It is something that I have been easily controlled and managed.....

However, really since the holidays my anxiety has taken on something a new roll and has presented new symptoms....symptoms I have never experienced before with my mental illness. To be honest it is a little scary to face a new area of my illness.

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So I guess I should start with a brief part of what Generalized Anxiety Disorder or GAD is. It is defined or described as exaggerated anxiety and worry about everyday life events with no obvious reason to reason. People with GAD tend to expect disaster and worry about money, health, family, work, or school. The worry/fear is often unrealistic or is out of proportion to the actual situation (which is usually where I fall).

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The common symptoms of GAD- and the symptoms I usually have

* Excessive, ongoing worry and Tension (me)

* An Unrealistic view of the problem (sometimes)

* Restlessness or feeling a bit edgy (me)

* Muscle Tension

* Headaches 

* Sweating

* Nausea 

* The need to go to the bathroom frequently

* Tiredness (me- usually after my anxiety dies down)

* Trouble, Falling, or Staying Asleep (me)

* Trembling 

* Being Easily Startled (me)

However, since the holidays my GAD has gone just what I consider "mental/emotional" symptoms. I am now experiencing the physical symptoms of GAD which has never happened along with taking longer my body to recover from what caused it. Now when these symptoms occur I am now having physical symptoms of muscle tension, nausea, crying, vomiting, and panicking. I have been talking to my counselor and he did not like how long this anxiety was occurring. Of course a lot of times you do not realize something until it is pointed out to you (well at least to me). So we agreed that I will talk to my doctor about it and figure out ways to cope with anxiety.My counselor and my brain doctor work together so it easy to express problems across boards.

So today I went to brain doctor today and we discussed my anxiety. There was an adjustment to my medications and a new way of taking of them. He also mentioned the word panic attack... me panic attacks? No no no no no ...... not this Bipolar Mom and Her Daily Life. It has taken me a long time to get where I have got and now I have to learn how to deal, live, thrive, and strive through another symptom/symptoms.

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So here I am just a Bipolar Mom.... with her Daily Life... facing a new challenge...... or maybe not so new...just a different face

References:

http://www.webmd.com/anxiety-panic/guide/generalized-anxiety-disorder?page=3