What My Page and Blog Is Really About...

What is your page about?

What does this have to be with being bipolar?

Are you really Bipolar? 

You seem to positive all the time do your moods ever change?

Your Page Is Not Like Other Bipolar Pages?

I am a mom, wife, and daughter but I am also diagnosed and live with two health conditions bipolar and PCOS. However, these two sole thing do not define my life or are "me", there are numerous things that make me. That is why I created the blog "Bipolar Mom and Her Daily Life" and then after the Facebook page. Now the overall purpose/goal of this blog and page is show people that you can live, strive through the obstacles that you face, and accomplish so much through in ones life. 

I can achieve this with a small amount of education of mental illness and PCOS but also how I live my life with these two health issues. So what does this have to be with being bipolar? I ask you how is this not related to being bipolar? I am me! I live my life! I do not wake up going "How is this going to be a bipolar day?" but instead think of what I have to do that day and if my moods happen to go off like a light switch or I feel myself going up or down then I do it what I do when it comes to being bipolar. As I stated before being bipolar is only aspect of my life. So on my blog and page you will discover in many aspects I am just like anyone else! Who would have thought! I love to craft, cook, diying, and everything else in between. I take care of my household which includes a handsome Marine and two beautiful miracles. So why not share it? It is my daily life! If  I share my experiences through my page and blog of my music therapy, crafts, my journals, routine, books, doctor appointments related to my mental health or PCOS and end up help just one person then I have reached my purpose of this blog and the forms of Social Media I created.

I was questioned the other day are you really bipolar? You seem to be to positive do your moods ever change? At first I was taken a back but then laughed to myself about this question. I guess I do not super show it on my page but I choose not express my 24/7. If I did express my mood like that on the page I would never get any sleep and you would likely get sick of my page and think of my page nothing more of attention seeker. Instead I love to express myself through humor, sayings, quotes, inspiration, and so on. This type of expression would also include areas of my health as well. However, this page is about Bipolar too so there are times I will and have focused on my mood. I believe it is important to let people who follow my page that I do go through downs or not feeling well. It is something I need to be open about because it is apart of my life. I do not however post or blog about all my downs or mood shifts because I do not believe that serves the overall purpose/goal of my page and blog. It is often very hard to explain mood shifts especially the downs because I just don't know. I can educate you mood shifts and what it is like to fall down the rabbit hole but I like to show you how I pull myself out of that hole as well. I also believe to much negativity can be a very bad thing not only to purpose/goal of pages in your actual life and it is something I would rather not have on page or blog every day but instead replacing it with overcoming whatever that negativity is one life. 

Why doesn't your page look like other bipolar pages? How is my page and blog suppose to look? I follow many mental health pages and I can tell you each of us are unique each bonded together by some sort of mental illness. Some of these pages are pure educational, just personal blogs, focused on a certain mental illness, and so on. My page simply speaks for me as their page speaks for them hopefully. 

What I love about my page and blog I think it goes beyond just some one who lives with bipolar and PCOS. I have already met so many wonderful people through the page and blog growth. Of course I met other people like me who live with or know someone with a mental illness but I have met crafters, business owners, farmers, homesteaders, cooks, just for fun communities, bloggers, and so on! One of the best things that have happened though through this page and blog though are the people that have come forward with their own struggle with mental illness but never shared it with anyone for multiple reasons. 

I am not sure where my blog or page is headed or how big it will become. Am I afraid of unknown? Very much so but it is no different from a lot of the other unknowns. In life I know there will people I will come across people who do not care for me or how I run my page or blog. The fact of life is we will not be everyone' cup of tea. I can promise you though I will always promote respect, no drama, bullying, or bashing! I am a very open minded person and respect peoples values, morales, religion, and opinions. I ask you extend the me the same because I can tell you now my page will be far from being politically correct. So I will tell you Merry Christmas, send you prayers, and have post that specific overtones. You can tell me whatever you want, send positive thoughts and I will like your posts if I like them or can relate to them as long their is mutual respect. I will continue to focus on what this page and blog is becoming and getting to know other people and pages. I have already learned so many wonderful things from so many people and pages.

So this is Bipolar Mom and Her Daily Life and this what her blog and page is really like! 

I Am Bipolar But Not Crazy

If you have not figured out by the title of my blog... I am one of 5.7 million Americans who lives with Bipolar Disorder. Notice I said the word "live" and not "suffer". I really do not like to the term suffer because if I use the term "suffer" I believe I hinder or limit myself to merely what people think someone with Bipolar Disorder is capable of.

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I guess I should first tell you what my full diagnosis is because in the mental health world there is actually a couple of types of Bipolar Disorder. I have Bipolar II Disorder with rapid cycling and generalized anxiety and they symptoms are very similar to someone who has Bipolar I Disorder expect my ups or elevated moods are not as extreme or less intense and are called hypomania or hypomanic episodes. I also experience the unexplained mood changes of the up and downs at least 4 times a year. Someone with Bipolar II tends to have more episodes of depression but still cycles between high and low moods.... I know it is a mouthful.

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I often get questions so I thought I would address them here

How do I function?

I often have to laugh at this question and want to ask back... Well how do you function? Well the answer is simple I do just like anyone else. The fact is most people with Bipolar Disorder especially Bipolar II lead normal functioning lives. I think people are often confused with this question and really want to ask question what is to be Bipolar and what happens when you are either "up" or "down". However, I will get to that later on in this post.

Am I Crazy?

I love this question!!! I am no more crazy than you!!!... Haha. There is still very much a stigma around mental illness and I am very aware of this. I have never been ashamed of being Bipolar as living PCOS. I strongly believe Bipolar disorder and along with a lot of experts believe this disorder underlying cause is caused by problem in certain brain circuits and balances of certain chemicals in the brain. I basically point it out like this.. why I am going to be ashamed of something I have no control of? I did not cause or ask to be this just as someone did not ask for particular illness mine just so happens to be in my brain.

I guess what else people want to know or hint around about "am I crazy" question is if do things differently, do off the wall things, or think differently? The best way I can answer is that "perhaps". Each person who lives BP disorder is truly unique individual and how they approach their disorder and their symptoms and what they do with them. I know often people are concerned with someone who is bp that because they think or act differently and sometimes in a negative manner that they jeopardize a lot things. I can tell you I have probably made my share of bad decisions (but has not everyone?) but I strongly make an effort not to make choices that would harm my relationships, careers, and reputations.

Is It Hard To Be A Wife And Mother?

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I also love this question and I can only assume what is daily life for me with adding the normal life stresses of being a wife and mother. I honestly really do not know how to answer this question or what people are looking for. Are they wanting to know what happens when I feel down or up? Well I can answer that a little bit a later but what I thought I would do is this section is right about what I experience in a "normal day" or my daily life.

One of my symptoms for BP disorder no matter what my mood is...normal, meh, up, or down is rapid thoughts, flying suddenly one idea to the next, the inability to shut my mind down. I often look at this symptom as my blessing and curse. My mind basically runs 24/7 and with this I often come up with ideas, things I want to try, how I want to approach a problem, and so on. However, with a mind that runs 24/7 it can often be a nightmare when I am laying there and my mind won't shut up. I can lay there for hours just thinking sometimes solving the world problems to thinking about a spot light I saw and how pretty it seemed.

I can lose my attention/day dream during the day no matter what my mood is and having two little ones can very much aid to this so I have to try to stick a schedule/routine. This is a huge benefit for my family and me. The reality is if I do not stick to schedule everything and anything happens as well as nothing. However, this is one of my biggest battles because I love to fight my routine/schedule often.

Rapid cycle the fact is my mood can switch without notice... I know nice huh? My moods I am actually really aware of and some days I can feel tiny bounce back and fourth from the daily events. Now these events are no different from any other wife or mother but they for some reason trigger mood changes for no reason. Now you think this would a be a nightmare for my family? However, not really because I usually do not show these mood changes outright....usually.. these are something I keep inside until I am can right them out that night. As I said earlier in my post I make an effort and choices not to harm my relationships. My family especially my children are not the reason for my mood changes so they do not be feel results for something they did not do. They are also too young to understand what is going on and it will be a long long long time to even understand what Bipolar even is.

So Umm... What Happens ..When You Know.. You Have A Major Episode?

Well the fact is I live with Bipolar and I have gone through major mood episodes and I will likely go through more down the road. I have gone through both up and down major episodes both leaving damage in its pathway. I can go into detail explaining how they happen or when they happen but in reality I cannot pin point when they actually started but rather I was in them from my support system. These major episodes can last up for months if left untreated. However, as far as I know I have never had a major episode last that long but I can never pin point when the actually start but rather when I am in the middle of them and need to get back to normal.

When I am in the major episode the first thing I do is get back to my doctor as soon as I can. I take medications to help treat my bp disorder as well other things. I am strong believer that bp disorder or the most part should be treated with medication with other types of treatment because of being related to a chemical problem in the brain (even though each case is different). With a major episode I figure my medication is no longer doing its job and it needs to be adjusted. I not only go to a doctor but I actually go to a psychiatrist and have great insurance that allows me great care. I also try to figure out what my "trigger(s)" was and if it is something I could change in my life. I also amp up of my daily therapies of music, reading, and crafting! Having these type therapies helps brings out of whatever episode I am in and back to me.

The key or goal is when you are in episode is to get out of it as soon as possible!

How Do I Treat My Disorder?

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I am very proactive. As I stated early I go to the doctor asap if I am in episode but just because I am not in episode does not mean I am monitored. I see my doctor at least once month who helps monitor my medication and whether I need additional health like needing to speak to a counselor, which I have done in the past. However, having an almost 3-year-old and a 1-year-old counseling is not an option.

I seek alternative therapies for my bp disorder. Even though I take medication for my disorder that is no the end of the story. I cannot simply take a pill and will be good (I wish). I listen to music, craft, reading, clean, cook, and enjoy time outside to keep my life as stress free as possible. If you are happy and stress in life the happier you are in general.

I have a support system. A lot of times I cannot tell when my mood is shifting but I am luckily to have a wonderful support system my mother, husband, and a couple of close friends who are willing to stand up and ask me and tell me they think there is something wrong.This is often something very hard for someone to do for both the person who is bp and the people living with the person bp. However, when you reach this level of trust and love your disorder is very easy mange and you are able to get out of your episodes easier (usually).

I understand my disorder. I slightly have a leg up on my disorder and and a lot of other people, ironically I have a bachelors in psychology ;-) . I also have a strong background in biology and chemistry. I am not only reading books, peoples personal experiences, but also published articles, peer review journals, and so on. I also plan furthering my education and helping others with mental illness I just have not narrowed what area of psychology I want to go in yet so just dabbled in a few master level courses.

So here it is.... I AM BIPOLAR NOT CRAZY

Looks At The Whole Picture- but who do I talk to?

I like to think I have the ability to look at the whole picture. In other words step out of my own views and look at everyones thoughts, beliefs, and just questions- I think it is often called well rounded but I think that term is wrong because I do think I am well rounded because one thing is I am not confining myself into a shape. However, this ability puts me into a position in who can I talk to about my views, beliefs, or questions about without the fear of judgement (perhaps that is why I am well suited for a career in psychology). The fact is we are all passionate about something but it is often hard to find people you can to with becoming angry because of something that was said. I usually try to stick by a rule = DO NOT TALK POLITICS, RELIGION, HOT TOPICS, and OTHER THINGS AS WELL with friends. Most of my friends know this about me and some others accuse me of not having a backbone but if THEY really know me.... this is something I do not budge on.

However, I have been so blessed to know these two women.We could not come different backgrounds, beliefs, thoughts, and values but what makes these two women different is they do not judge me and I do not judge them. They do not personally know each other but they both bring so much into life. They constantly challenge my minds and make me think of things in a new way.

One, is very well traveled, likes to experience new things, can tell in an instant if I am over stress. I love talking to her about movies, where she has been, her concern for my husband safety (and the other military men), she is a hard worker. I do not get to see her as often as I like but just to know her is truly an adventure in itself. I tell her where I want to travel and my dreams she is encouraging. She is caring and warm! However, we can laugh at the silliest things. Like Salt tuning into Rice :-)

The other woman I know has known me for a while. She has such a unique personality and I admire her for just being her.What I love the most is that we can talk about most anything, there has been so many late night conversations about beliefs, pin-ups, and what is going on. I remember telling her once I thought I was born in the wrong time period (which is another post) instead of acting like I am nuts she understands. We have different faiths but she does not judge me and I do not judge her. I think it amazing to have this with her because I know it is hard to find someone they can talk to about anything without the fear of judgement.

I think anyone is lucky to have friends like this because they do not try to change you, argue with you, or anything else. They just want you to be you and only you!

A friend is one who knows you and loves you just the same.
Elbert Hubbard