Caleb My Miracle

Caleb arrived December 21, 2011 and boy has it is been an incredible adventure. I have never been so in love with a child than I am with my son. He has the most beautiful blue eyes and a smile that makes my heart just melt. When I think of him and the journey I have been on to have him I often just close me eyes and think of my little baby 6 years in the making. The picture above was taken when he was 2 months old but even he decided to make his welcoming into this world and adventure as well. Christopher and I knew he was not going to be here for the birth of Caleb and for the first couple of months... duty calls when you are military. My husband left at the start of Dec and the following day Caleb decided not to do what he was suppose to do in our weekly NST testing so I was admitted to the hospital. With having PCOS and doing infertility treatment I was high risk and I did develop gestational diabetes (and for future reference- I may never drink Sunkist or any other orange flavored things again). He was not reactive above his heart rate so I had to go through this special ultrasound which basically the doctor places the monitor on my stomach to watch his breathing movements. It is not a painful test but it is very stressful. He failed the test meaning he only 6 six breathing movements out of 10 in an hour and he needed to do at least 8. I was scared, I mean who would not. I mean my husband was going back over to Afghanistan I was alone and there could have been something wrong with our little baby. Well thankfully, he did what he was suppose to-do in a repeat of the test and I was sent home. I was adjusting to being pregnant by myself passing the days by slowly and miserable wishing I could lay on my stomach or back. I knew I was having a c-section because Caleb had remained breached the entire pregnancy and I refused to go through an aversion procedure (which is where they try to roll the baby into position). I just felt it should come natural... I still had a month left when my nightly checks with my parents... I just told my Mom I think I am ready to have someone sit with me. She just said I was having a bad day. Well that night I was getting things ready for bed and I was putting juice in the fridge (Blue Kool Aid) to be exact when I felt this pop...kind of like a water balloon and a small but warm gush of liquid..... My water broke. The one thing I did not plan for was my water breaking early. I called my parents told them what happen.... put my dogs in the kennel.... and drove myself to the hospital (yes you heard me right). I went through the entire check in process, they got a hold of my husband, my parents were on there way up (they were about 4 1/2 hours away). So as I was waiting for everything they tested my blood sugar and it was high... the doctor (who I do not like) told the nurse to give me insulin. I asked him not to and if he could wait just a little bit I am sure it would go down by itself.... BUT he knew what was best... well the gave me his dose... all I remember saying is I feel like I am going to throw up... and next thing I know I am being woke up with something.... I passed out.... go figure... I honestly think people know their own bodies and I knew I did not need that insulin.... oh well. My parents arrived 15 minutes before they were to take me back. The C-section went well and to be honest cannot remember a lot about it because of the drugs... I think. My mom said I was out of it... the thing I do remember is hearing Caleb cry. I was told in recovery when I got back in my room my son would be joining me.

When I got to my room my mom told me Caleb was grunting a little bit so he needed to stay in the nursery for a little bit longer. That was a start of a night mare for me. Hours ticked by and they kept giving the same answers. Finally a doctor came to me and said that he was going on the C-pap machine for 4 hours to see if that helped and if not he would have to be transferred to a NICU. My heart just dropped. I only saw my son for a brief second and have yet to hold him and the doctor is telling me this.... well sadly he did not improve and he was transferred to a NICU about an hour away. I held it together when they brought him up to me and actually felt a great calm where he was going...I just felt the overwhelming need for him to be out of there as much as I hated not being with him. He went to New Hannover in Wilmington, NC and you do not ever want your child to be in that situation but if they have to be I think New Hannover could be the best place. I was released from Naval the following day and my parents drove me to Wilmington at Midnight so I could see my son. When I got there I got the most welcoming feeling in the world. Each baby has their own room called pods and is private and secure. They asked me if they could do anything..... I asked if I could hold him finally? They almost seemed shocked but not surprised that I have not been able to hold my son yet  when they found out where I came from. So almost 48 hours later this is me holding my son.

I kept very quiet that he was in the NICU because it is a very hard thing to go through. His stay was only a week but each day feels like it would never end. When it was over I just prayed for the parents who had their little ones in there for months. I was so thankful my parents were with me. They drove me every day back and forth from Jacksonville to Wilmington to see Caleb. I called there every day for updates sometimes twice and they always were welcoming. Caleb spent his first Christmas in the NICU but it was soon after that my baby boy got to come home.

Knowing and having home was one of the greatest feelings on this earth. Since he came home from the NICU we have had no health problems with him. Everything on little man is healthy and you would have never known he had time in the NICU. Besides for the first two months where he thought he was an owl and decided to turn me into a vampire he has been beyond a good baby and I know how lucky I am to have him.

so from PCOS --> INFERTILITY JOURNEY --> INFERTILITY TREATMENT --> PREGNANT --> CALEB ARRIVING --> NICU STAY --> HOME --> MEETING DADDY FOR THE FIRST TIME

So for Caleb just being 5 months old he has already had an adventure that trumps most adults.... I wonder what the next part of his adventure will be... I know one thing for sure... I am so excited to be part of it!

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH CALEB AND KNOW THAT YOU WERE ALWAYS WANTED!!! YOU ARE MY SIX YEAR IN THE MAKING MOTHER'S DAY PRESENT!