Tuesday, March 31, 2015



This is a test  and trying to figure out this blog world.... thank you for your help!

Friday, March 27, 2015

National World Bipolar Day - March 30

Image belongs to International Bipolar Foundation 
March 30th is a very important day to me it is almost birthday celebrating day for me.... it is National World Bipolar Day!!! The vision of this day is to bring world awareness and the stigma of bipolar disorders. This day means we are one step closer to ending the stigma not only around Bipolar but other mental illnesses as well! I could not be happier and honored to be part of this day.

The International Bipolar Foundation (http://www.ibpf.org) asked people who lived with bipolar, caregivers who help someone with bipolar, and the general public to submit a photo with a sign or positive message that would be shared on World Bipolar Day via Facebook and Twitter. I knew this is something that I had to do and be apart of.

So I thought I would write this blog post to go along with my photo for World Bipolar Day... So I hope you enjoy this particular post as I did!!!

Property of a Bipolar Mom and Her Daily Life
* I am not my illness

* I am a daughter, wife, and mother

* I am loved 

* I love with all my heart, body, and soul

* I am not crazy, insane, or unstable 

* I love music, crafts, and to read 

* I love animals 

* I am a fighter and will continue to fight for my invisible illnesses 

* I support invisible illness

* I am a stigma fighter

* I respect all

* I look like just everyone else but unique 

* I will fight for my family

* I am creative 

* I may have an illness but in reality it is more of a blessing not a burden 

* I like to dance like no one is watching 

* I am clumsy 

* I care 

* I am proactive in treating bipolar

* I love the many forms of therapy out there

* I am not afraid to tell someone I am Bipolar 

* I look just like anyone else

* I will not be a negative statistic 

* I am not meant to be used as a label 

* I am in good company 

Property of Bipolar Mom and Her Daily Life 

Friday, March 13, 2015

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME- 32 Things plus an inside joke!!!

Well I am turning 32 on the 14th !!! I thought I would write this list type of thing which includes facts from the past/present, goals, and even buckets list. There is also an inside joke about me and if if you read through it you will discover what I did ....and what I will likely do again once again.

So hopefully this will be on the funny side.... however, my humor is often a hit or miss an leaning towards the miss side.... yep kind of an odd sense of humor here....

Image found on Google Free Images

Happy Birthday To Me

1. My Mom said they were actually prepping her for a c-section because I was not progressing after her water broke. Then she said had an urge to poop...my dad running to get a nurse and I was born. I always told her "Nice Mom!".  The funny part is it was not until I had Caydance did I not relate to having the poop feeling and having a kid. Caleb was born via c-section.

2. I looked like nothing like my mother skin tone wise. I was very dark toned so if my Daddy was not around (He was in the Army) they actually thought I was mixed baby and my Mom and their friends/neighbors who were African American in Germany the husband was my Dad. They actually had a baby around the same time I was born. I have seen the pictures.

3. I am very paranoid of people in full costumes. Like Mickey Mouse, Easter Bunny, Santa Claus and clowns.... I need to see their faces.  I always feel like they are up to no good if I cannot see their faces. 

4. I was a very girly girl when I was little! I use to dress up before I went to bed. I am talking the full effect. I put a belt around my night gown, put on my jellies, and rocked the look. I was such a product of the 80's. I did out grow the stage though.

5. I played softball for many years. One day I forgot to wear my sliding shorts and it was the day I slid into third (which was the position I played) and I had biggest strawberry on my butt/upper thigh. If you have seen league of their own that is what it basically look like. It stung very bad when I got in the shower. Lets say I never forgot my sliding shorts again. 

6. I once got my pants stuck on a fence and was just hanging there while  my brother just laughed at me. I had the ultimate wedgie.... I was probably there a good 5 minutes until my brother picked himself off the ground from laughing to help me. 

7. I truly hate peas! They are little balls of green nasty. I force myself to eat the nasty little boogers so my kids will. 

8. My mom use to hate to take me to the produce section because I use to make boob references with fruits. I am about 32 and I still do it! 

9. I have an addiction to school supplies...  I mean seriously it is not healthy 

10. I steal my kids juice boxes when they are not looking. It is the perfect amount to swallow my pills...LOL

11. To just recently I had no clue how baby chickens were made...yes I know they come from eggs... but I am talking about the mating process. I was even a bio major in college,,,is that not sad? I seriously thought it was like how fished spawned...pretty sad.... 

12.  I will tell you straight out if I liked something you made food wise and if I don't like it I won't eat  it. I will however, try anything at least once because you never until you try it. So I actually like a lot of stuff... my main things that I have yet to find a yes to our cream based soups.

13. I tend to over analyze children shows. I do not do it out loud but in my head.... 

14. I love all my fur babies past, preset, and future but by far my one of my favorite was my pet rat named Stinky I rescued him. I was not sure how old he was when I got him but I had him all through middle and high school. I cannot wait to get another pet rat or two. 

15. I am the queen of unfinished projects! I am still working on a crocheted blanket for my husband that started back in 2004. In my defense he should have not wanted that thing a size of a king bed!!!

16.  I love to spoil people and theme out like it is cool...or not cool... I have no idea what is cool anymore.

17. I love Halloween and when I was younger I always wanted to be a punk rocker. Once again a product of 80's but when I look back at it... I am not sure I really knew what a punk rocker really was until I was way older. However, my parents dressed me up as one.

18. I liked vampires before they were cool and before they ever sparkled! 

19. I was such a book worm, nerd, geek, and so on by the time I was in middle school and high school my parents never asked me if I had homework. I just did it... and only came to them if I needed help which was usually math. I also enjoyed school readings and did my homework on Friday.

20. I actually failed the 11th grade with straight A's and one F! I was horrible in Algebra and no matter how much I tried and my parents helped (not the teacher-she was horrible) I could not get it. I earned that F!!!! However, since math was a required class it was an automatic fail. So I had to go summer school to go the 12th grade. The F cost me graduating with honors but I did letter in academics..... so I think it is still a win in my books!!!

21. One of greatest friends in my lives is a guy! No he is not my husband or gay... I met him in the 9th grade and still friends to this day. He is actually the only friend I still talk to from high school. He actually bit me in the 9th grade claiming he was a vampire. I should have slapped him... however, out families get a long great. You would think my hubby and him actually were the friends first but it is the opposite. He was also a bridesman in my wedding. He also has an amazing wife!!!! 

22. I love to nap.... napping is one of my favorite things to do. So if my kids are napping so am I ;)

23. I hate talking on the phone. I am guilty of screening phone calls. I much rather text.... sorry

24. I do laundry like I am still using a laundry mat.... so basically when I have no panties left or when hubby runs of out undies I will do laundry. However, that means we do not wear the same thing over and over again.

25. I am addicted to shoes but because I am so tall I end up wearing a lot of flats. My brother use to hate me wearing heals because it would make taller then him. He is barely an inch taller than me. I am 5'10 /11 depending on the doctor...and if I wore heals I was a giant.... does not matter with hubby because he is taller than me.

26. I am clumsy and test gravity all the time.

27. When I was 27 I actually thought I was 28....no joke! Most women like to think of themselves as younger. I made myself an entire year older. It was my Mom to correct me and I even argued with her!

28. I actually turned 28!

28. I will actually probably think I am a year older at some point again in my life.... lets just hope this when I am older and truly cannot remember and just not a brain fart.

29. I am pretty sure I am raising a mini version of myself and Christopher with our two kids. 

30. I am in love with a couple of celebrities! Morgan Freeman- That mans voice !!!!  Alan Alda- Do I need to say more? Angie Harmon- she is my female crush 

31. I may be an introvert but for some reason I am not afraid to dance in public.

32. I am turning 32 on the 14th the day of Pi but the ultimate day of Pi.... 3.14.15 9:26:53 the day to be irrational... got to love it!!! 

Monday, March 9, 2015

Learning About A New Symptoms In My Daily Life: Anxiety and Panic Attacks

Image found on Google Free Images

As you guys know I am bipolar and part of my formal diagnosis is generalized anxiety disorder. It is really part of my diagnosis I do not talk about because it really has never presented itself to be enough  of a problem for me at least. It often goes hand in hand of bipolar and for me it leads to excessive worry of just about everything and it goes hand with my rapid thoughts. Usually it gets worse around the holidays or special events. It is something that I have been easily controlled and managed.....

However, really since the holidays my anxiety has taken on something a new roll and has presented new symptoms....symptoms I have never experienced before with my mental illness. To be honest it is a little scary to face a new area of my illness.

Property of Bipolar Mom and Her Daily Life

So I guess I should start with a brief part of what Generalized Anxiety Disorder or GAD is. It is defined or described as exaggerated anxiety and worry about everyday life events with no obvious reason to reason. People with GAD tend to expect disaster and worry about money, health, family, work, or school. The worry/fear is often unrealistic or is out of proportion to the actual situation (which is usually where I fall).

Image found on Google Free Images

The common symptoms of GAD- and the symptoms I usually have
* Excessive, ongoing worry and Tension (me)
* An Unrealistic view of the problem (sometimes)
* Restlessness or feeling a bit edgy (me)
* Muscle Tension
* Headaches 
* Sweating
* Nausea 
* The need to go to the bathroom frequently
* Tiredness (me- usually after my anxiety dies down)
* Trouble, Falling, or Staying Asleep (me)
* Trembling 
* Being Easily Startled (me)

However, since the holidays my GAD has gone just what I consider "mental/emotional" symptoms. I am now experiencing the physical symptoms of GAD which has never happened along with taking longer my body to recover from what caused it. Now when these symptoms occur I am now having physical symptoms of muscle tension, nausea, crying, vomiting, and panicking. I have been talking to my counselor and he did not like how long this anxiety was occurring. Of course a lot of times you do not realize something until it is pointed out to you (well at least to me). So we agreed that I will talk to my doctor about it and figure out ways to cope with anxiety.My counselor and my brain doctor work together so it easy to express problems across boards.

So today I went to brain doctor today and we discussed my anxiety. There was an adjustment to my medications and a new way of taking of them. He also mentioned the word panic attack... me panic attacks? No no no no no ...... not this Bipolar Mom and Her Daily Life. It has taken me a long time to get where I have got and now I have to learn how to deal, live, thrive, and strive through another symptom/symptoms.

Image Found On Google Free Images

So here I am just a Bipolar Mom.... with her Daily Life... facing a new challenge...... or maybe not so new...just a different face