Sunday, August 23, 2015

Wow What Happen?

Wow What Happen?

Property of: A Bipolar Mom and Her Daily Life!!!

I have not written on here in months.... I had this whole plan for summer of what blog post I was going to write and what I was going to share and so on. Then nothing....

Well I really should not say nothing but rather at the time I was starting and not realizing I was going through a manic stage of bipolar or I much rather call a battle. It has probably been the longest manic stages I have ever been in.

For me being manic is having this little hamster on this wheel in my head that never stops! Actually he never stops but when I am manic the hamster is like on steroids. When I was going through this manic phase I had no clue at the time what was occurring or how long this recovery would take.

Most days I felt fine but my thoughts would not quite down and I would have trouble sleeping. Projects started piling up, my house work down the crap shoot, and so on. My only main focus was my kids and doing the minimum not raise suspicion I guess when I look at. Basically function on auto pilot of my basic routine. However, it got bad at the mid summer. I let is slip to my therapist that I could  not quiet my mind and it was getting harder and harder to sleep. I was also looking for excuses as well. He suggested that I see my doctor as soon as possible. I already had an appointment on the books do instead of canceling that and scheduling sooner I stuck with that. Well by the time comes around my walls are down and I am crying to doctor that I wanted my mind to shut off.  He immediately adjusted some medication.

Property of: A Bipolar Mom and Her Daily Life!!!

Because of this I asked my mother to come down. I know I was capable of handling this change by myself but this made things a little easier. I have always said to my readers if you have the support use it! In this case use it! You need that person you can trust!!! In my case I have two... my husband and my mom. So why I was focusing on self care and getting things back to my normal. She was helping my husband and also helping me as well. Just because she was there she did not do everything for me. It is important to get right back up there and she made sure I got back on that blasted love hate relationship of a  routine with tough and gentle love. So I am forever thankful for that! I also wish each of you that you have that someone in your life just to make things a little easier.

Well fast forward some weight is just piling back on like the speed of sound (a little much?) . It took me almost a year to loose 50 pounds and then to gain that back and then some in just months was devastating. I don't think anyone realized I cried in the shower almost every time looking at myself. Everyone kept telling me "head" first then "body" but I did not think people realized how much "body" I gave up to see thrown back at me. Nothing like having a little one asking if you are pregnant (awkward silence). It was also discovered that one of brain medications that has likely caused most of this medical weight gain has run its course and currently in the process of transition which I told could take several months because of the type medications.

Throw in some physical health problems....

What does this boil down to?

My summer health wise did not goes as plan. I do not feel like I am in the best health but neither the poorest. Besides focusing on my family and daily routine.... I honestly have to put myself first for once and figure this all out. I HAVE TO BE AROUND FOR MY CHILDREN!!!! As I have said before they did not ask to have a parent like this... but they did ask for to have a parent to try their best.... and that is what I am going to do!!!!!

So Wow What Happen?

Property of: A Bipolar Mom and Her Daily Life!!!

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