Thursday, January 23, 2014

Is Anyone Else Confused On Parenting Labels and Styles?

Okay I know before I start this post.. a lot of parents are going to know a lot about their "parenting styles" but if you are like me I am confused and do not understand the labels. I do understand that as parents we each have are own style but did not realized it gets lumped into these categories of "parenting styles". Now before I go further I am still relatively new to parenting with two little ones a now 5 month old little girl and a very active 2 year-old little boy. So perhaps I will gather better understanding of parenting styles as my children become older. Well anyways I approached this post with a non-bias attitude towards the different styles of parenting.

If you type in your favorite search site "types of parenting" or "parenting style" it is amazing what comes up. Without clicking on any results and just looking at the titles some sites say there are 3 common types of parenting, another says 4, and one even says 12... no wonder why I am confused! So as I continue with this post I will provide links to my findings.

The first type of parenting styles I have come across is text base and psychology based. The direct information can be found here

1. Authoritarian Parenting- is a type of parenting where a child is expected to follow strict rules and guidelines set by the parents. The failure to follow the rules set by the parents often results in punishment. The article further explains that this type parenting style the parents tend not to explain the reason behind the rules set in place for their children.

2. Authoritative Parenting- very much like authoritarian parenting the child is expected to follow rules set by the parents but unlike authoritarian parenting this parenting style is more democratic. Parents often in this parenting style are more open to listening to their children and more responsive. When a child fails to meet expectations, the parents are more forgiving then punishing. They want their punishments to be supportive rather punitive.

3. Permissive Parenting- is a type of parenting also sometimes referred to as indulgent parenting and often have very few demands of their children. The parents often do not discipline their children because of the low expectations of "maturity" and "self-control". This type of parenting is more responsive to their children then demanding. Permissive parents often take on the role of a friend to the child that that of a parent.

4. Uninvolved Parenting- is characterized by having few demands, low responsiveness, and little to no communication. The parents in this style often provide for their children with basic needs but in extreme cases may even reject or neglect the needs of their children.

The second article I cam across which can be found here talks about the first three parenting styles listed above but talks about how your parenting style may change over time and even day by day. It also talks about how parents fall in general into one of these three groups and often each parent may fall into a different parenting style. That is very common to have different parenting styles in one household.

Then comes the terms of parenting such as "helicopter parent", "crunchy parent", "toxic parenting", "positive parenting", "attachment parenting", "unconditional parenting". I know some of these are funny terms.. well to me to at least. Now some of these terms are the same or similar in nature.

 Now for me the one that stands out the most is "crunchy parenting". By looking it up it encompasses but not limited too eco-friendly concepts, co-sleeping, breast feeding, tv-free, buying local, homeschool, and so on. This parenting style encompasses so much it suggest that all parents may be a little "crunchy". You can find more information at

Helicopter parent is also known as "overprotective parenting". Now trying to find a non-bias definition or explanation of helicopter parenting was a little difficult. What I can find is largely is that is parents that want to protect their children from harm and are "very" involved with their children's life to the point of extremes. In some extreme cases helicopter parents have called their child's professors about grades to calling their each child morning to wake up. Now this type of parenting style has a lot of articles on why it is not good to be a helicopter parent and when you type it in the search sites that is what you will mostly find in the results. That is your opinion and views on helicopter parenting. I did however find a quiz : Are You a Helicopter Parent .

So do you want to know what I learned by writing this post? That my parenting style really cannot be lumped into one group and it encompasses many different styles and approaches. My parenting style also changes sometimes even day to day. Myself as a parent cannot be labeled just under one. So if have to give myself a title it would just have to be MOM!

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