Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Sometimes You Just Have To Go With The Flow... What is Going On With Us?

Things have been crazy in my household for several months. One of the most frustrating things in the world is just not knowing and you hope and pray that everything will work out the way it is suppose too. I am married to a wonderful man for almost 9 years. He serves his country as an infantryman and has been on the frontlines several times. However, this is the first time in his career where I think he feels honestly lost and with no answers. After my husband returned from his last deployment he decided it was time to do something called a "B-billet" it is basically a certain type job for about three years. My husband has always had his heart set on doing embassy duty. Well he had all his paper work in and had a slot for school several months down the road in the mean time he was doing another short school. A few days into his school he suffered from a heat stroke and had to be medically dropped from the course which did disqualify for the time being for his B-billet school. He made a full recovery and came to terms with embassy duty was not likely going to happen so like a good Marine he went for another B-billet this time an instructor for the School of Infantry. He got selected for the school and we were headed to the West coast. However, while physical training or aka PT he hurt his knee while running. I am not sure if I ever saw him so much pain before and like a lot of other Marines he pushed it in the back of his head to he finally agreed to see his medical officer. They sent him for an MRI and to see a specialist because nothing showed in the initial x-ray. However, because of this MRI he was suppose to be on a medical hold until the results but because of a huge miscommunication his orders got canceled and he once again had no idea what to do. We finally got the results from his MRI and come to find out he has a lot of fraying in his knee. So hopefully physical therapy will help after a month if the pain  has not gone away he will see a knee surgeon and see what they recommend (hopefully, no surgery!). However, in the meantime the Unit in which he was temporary moved too decided they wanted to keep him around (he is suppose to go back to his Line unit sometime in August). He was not really happy with this choice because he would lose his option for a B-billet he said. However, after a couple of nights he took on a great attitude with all the crap that has gone on and was accepting of what the next plan was. Well today he found out that he will be not getting orders and the only thing he knows for sure is he will stay there until August (which is good because our 2nd child is due in August). When he told me today while I was bringing him dinner he let it slip that he wish he never had his heat stroke. My heart just broke for him. The one thing you have to understand about my husband in the 12 years of service this is the first time his physical health has ever hindered him from his goals in the Marine Corp. I know he feels lost maybe even a little hurt and for once I do not want to do. I wish I could take his pain away and make everything right but everything is out of my hands. I can tell him every day that he is a good Marine (which he is a damn fine Marine) and just go with the flow and let things work themselves out. However, right now the only thing I can do is hope and pray that everything will work out the way it is suppose to. I told him the bright side because the last plan was not working out it puts him back inline for a B-billet after his knee heels. Which I know put a smile on his face even just for a moment but thing is I cannot make this B-billet happen as I stated above everything is out of my hands. I just want him to know that he is awesome husband and he makes me a better person just being with him. I am so glad that we get a long and hardly argue if that and he wants only the best for me. However, I just want him to know that I want only the best for him and I will always stand by his side! I love you Carebear!

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